September 12, 2011

Going in Circles - Wish I Could Figure it Out

I truly want to share my truths.  I am really struggling.  Please help me.  I'm a list person.  I drive myself crazy with lists.  I'm so busy organizing a list that I don't seem to actually do anything on the list.  These are some of the things on my 'To Do List' right now.
  1. Blog everyday - if only I could figure out Blogger and actually get some traffic. Because of this hang up, again I feel like no one's willing to listen to my woes.  Poor baby, me. 
  2. Call a CSA treatment house.
  3. Update my will.
There are about 30 items on the list.  I won't bore you with them all.  My depression takes so much out of me.  I did manage to get showered today.  Did do two loads of laundry.  Went outside.  Visited the public library.  None of these were on my written list. 

Hence the title.  I'm spinning in circles.  Is this my daily life on Cipralex?  An antidepressant I've been taking since July 26th, 2011.  I'll talk about that in another post.

Don't get me wrong, lists are important.  Grocery list, Christmas list, camping lists, wedding lists - lions, tigers and bears, Oh my!  I am a lister! 

I do hide behind humour, often.  I promise to post a number of days per week about my main topic, being my childhood sexual abuse.  It's very difficult.  My flashbacks are coming in spurts.  I have never told my spouse and likely never will. 

Please hold my hand through this journey.  Tyla

The Keyhole to My Mind's Closet

The Keyhole to My Mind's Closet
Blogging = cleaning = healing.